


Is it desire?

by yoimwriting



Series: Heaven on earth (with a little bit of hell) [3]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Angel Catarina Loss, Angel Magnus Bane, Angel Ragnor Fell, Angels vs. Demons, Blood and Torture, Demon Alec Lightwood, Fallen Angel Valentine Morgenstern, Forbidden Love, M/M, POV Magnus Bane, Sort Of, but also it's not to the mains so don't worry, can be seen as torture but it's more like punishment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-26 18:14:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18184043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yoimwriting/pseuds/yoimwriting
Summary: "There's a rumor."Magnus stopped dead in his tracks. After that spectacle, the only thing in his mind was Alexander, as weird as that sounded. What he had with the demon was easy, no complications whatsoever. It was better than to staying in home, for sure."You are seeing someone on Earth" Ragnor continued, "and that's why you spend more time down there."Magnus took a deep breath and turned around. Was he so easy to follow? Maybe he wasn't as careful as he thought he was. But he wasn't going to expose himself."Were you going to tell me?""Eventually" Magnus replied at last.Ragnor nodded, not looking convinced. He stepped forward, closer to Magnus. "Is it desire what you're seeking? Is it worth it?"Magnus averted his gaze; truthfully, he didn't know what he was looking for, just that he enjoyed it and was it so bad to feel good about something?"I hope you know what you're doing, Magnus, that it's worth it."Magnus looked up just to see Ragnor's retreating frame with some last words."Take it from Valentine."





	Is it desire?

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: THERE'S EXPLICIT MENTIONS OF BLOOD NEAR THE END SO BE MINDFUL. THREAD CAREFULLY IF YOU GET TRIGGERED BY BLOOD.
> 
> THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION
> 
> E N J O Y!

In retrospective, Magnus should have thought this through. Mixing his life with a demon wasn’t the best idea one could have and agreeing to some kind of deal that involved sex was foolish at best but Magnus didn’t care. He just wanted this.

So, when he opened his eyes and saw who was laying next to him, he knew right away that this wasn't a dream where his body and mind were _pleading_ to have Alexander once again.

This time, it was real.

He let himself smile, that giddiness he has been feeling lately fill him up. How he managed to go unnoticed was lost to him... Well, no. He was careful, more now than before but there was always the risk of someone finding out. Magnus was just waiting for the other shoe to drop because feeling like this, feeling this _good,_ wouldn't last forever.

At least, not if he was going to remain an angel.

But back to the _feeling good_. Alexander made him feel alive, almost on fire, lighting his body with every caress, every kiss, every word whispered against his ear; deft fingers leaving him breathless, every thrust leaving him gasping for air.

Two years into this arrangement (well, two years for Alexander since he'd spent every waking moment here on Earth) and Magnus was convinced he made the right decision; he was thinking for himself, taking what he wanted and in this moment of solitude, Magnus could admit, with no reservations, that he wanted Alexander.

Should he stop this before they got caught? Definitely. Did he want to stop? Absolutely no.

Alexander’s eyes fluttered open and there it was: those hazel eyes that Magnus was starting to like more than just the average amount. Magnus averted his gaze, suddenly nervous. Ironic how it was a demon who made him feel like this, so to avoid these weird feelings like every morning, Magnus sat up, shook his head to get rid of the remnants of sleep and stood up.

Angels didn’t necessarily need to sleep but it was something everyone could agree was pleasant to partake in.

Wiggling his pants up, he huffed. Two years into this agreement, Alexander said that angel robes were frown upon here on Earth, so he decided to take it upon himself to buy clothes for Magnus. Why humans decided it was a good idea to suffer in skinny pants, was beyond Magnus but something was clear: he looked good and it was a bonus to see Alexander’s eyes fill with desire whenever Magnus decided to try on the low-cut loose shirts, he thought Magnus would great with.

Which he was right. Magnus looked amazing, if he said so himself.

But that was something he would keep to himself.

“Good morning, angel.”

He flinched, closing his eyes for a moment and taking a deep breath. Every. Damn. Morning. Alexander would say something so suddenly, mostly when Magnus wasn’t looking to make him at least jump. He was an angel, for god’s— fucks— for _someone’s_ sake; he shouldn’t be so jumpy, especially when he was with a demon. Magnus shouldn’t be that easy to sneak on.

Still half naked, Magnus turned around, being careful on keeping his gaze on Alexander’s face and not traveling down to his uncovered chest in full display.

“Leaving so early?” Alexander asked, cocky smirk on his lips. “I was thinking you stay some more.”

“You always ask me that. The answer is still no.” Magnus rolled his eyes and finished dressing up.

Every morning was the same question and every morning Magnus would decline the offer because it was already a risk staying the night.

Alexander shrugged. “Didn’t hurt to ask.”

And then Alexander stood up too, taking his time to stretch his arms as higher as he could. Unlike Magnus, Alexander didn’t put his clothes on; Magnus had learnt that Alexander liked to prance around his house naked for the first few minutes of the morning after they’d woken up and then he would take a shower.

In Magnus personal opinion, it was distracting to the point where he couldn’t form coherent words. It also seemed that the longer Magnus spent time on Earth, he was becoming more human: incoherent with a dash of stupidity.  

Still with his smirk on display, Alexander walked towards Magnus, slowly and with a purpose.

And like every morning, Alexander sauntered towards Magnus, smirk already in place and naked, completely naked.The thing was, Magnus had seen Alexander's body multiple times— two years into this were handy—  but it never stopped him to feel this heat inside him whenever Alexander made a show of his body.  
  
And the little shit knew that, of course he knew, that was why he kept doing it.  
  
When he was in front of Magnus, he leaned down, raising Magnus' chin along the way to connect their lips in a soft but languid kiss. Just like every morning.  
  
"Do you want to stay?" Alexander whispered even though they were alone, his lips only mere inches from Magnus'.  
  
"You know I can't do that."  
  
Alexander hummed. "Duty calls."  
  
Right, of course, and also because if he decided to stay, chances were he would never leave. But again, Alexander could never knew that and as much as he liked not to feel the overbearing presence of Father, he was still an angel and he belonged in Heaven.  
  
They both knew that; they were completely different and yet, whenever they were like this, so close, Magnus would let himself think that he liked that.  
  
That maybe he liked Alexander—   _No, stop_! That train of thought would go nowhere.  
  
That made him take a step back, ignoring how Alexander looked at him surprised.  
  
It was sex, nothing more, nothing else. Magnus was using Alexander to prove himself that he could take his own decisions and Alexander was with him because having sex with an angel was probably "exotic.". They were bored, no unnecessary feelings underneath. It was just desire.  
  
"I have to go" Magnus then said, clearing his throat. "Some angelic thing is happening."  
  
"Some angelic thing?" Alexander asked with mirth in his voice. "How articulate."  
  
"I'm telling you more than you should know. Don't push it."  
  
Chuckling, Alexander raised his hands in mock defense. "Should I wait for you tonight?"  
  
Magnus shrugged, his attire on him so Alexander wouldn't distract him with a heated gaze. "We'll see."  
  
Magnus would definitely see him later.

∞

  
  
When Magnus arrived home, it was chaos, almost like that time when humans decided to throw themselves into war twice. Father was still ashamed of that.  
  
Magnus wasn't lying when he said that he had "some angelic thing" but it was a routine thing. Train the younger ones, check who was the new prophet, the new Important Person of Interest Father was so keened of having on Earth, train and overall keep an eye on every human.

 But this right here was unexpected.

“Magnus, finally! I’ve been– What are you _wearing?_ ”

Magnus turned at the sound of Ragnor and immediately looked down at himself. He winced; he completely forgot to change his clothes for his robe ones. Magnus wanted to say that he was distracted, which was true, but Ragnor wouldn’t be so pleased to know that Magnus was spending time with a demon.

No one would be pleased, if it came to that.

“I’m trying to understand the humans” he replied, looking up. “A sort of– what’s the word they use?”

“Camouflage?” Ragnor asked in time with a raised eyebrow.

“Exactly.” Magnus nodded, smiling a little bit. “The way to understand them is to walk in their shoes.”

Ragnor still didn’t look convinced and with a good reason. Magnus wasn’t known to be so interested in t he human ways, instead, more often than not, he would come off as someone who despised them because of all their flaws and overall stupidity, with this unnecessary need of turning every argument a fight that leads to death.

However, ever since Raphael turned into one, Magnus had made it a goal in his immortal life to see them as Raphael see them. Try to understand them, and if that gave him more opportunities to meet up with Alexander, well, that was a plus one.

“What’s going on?”

“Well,” Ragnor started, pursing his lips while crossing his arms, “if you were spending more time at home instead of _understanding the humans_ , you would know that Asmodeus is sending someone to hell.”

Magnus stared, dumbfounded. “Who?”

“Valentine.”

Magnus kept staring, at a loss at what he should feel at the moment. In the grand scheme of things, no angel should go to Hell since it was hands on deck all the time; there was a tragedy or war going on because humanity couldn't help themselves but on a personal level, Magnus hated this particular angel.  
  
For someone who prided himself of not letting feelings cloud his judgement, when it came to Valentine, Magnus couldn't help but seethe at the very mention of his name. Valentine was a leech, and everyone had this crazy theory— but true nonetheless— that he would do everything in his power to sabotage Father's work.  
  
Every few years, Valentine would rebel himself just to be put down by Father. It seemed that this time Father had enough.  
  
"What did he do this time?"  
  
Ragnor shrugged. "He tried to kill Asmodeus."  
  
For the first time since he came back, Magnus snorted. "What? How?"  
  
He knew he shouldn't laugh but the thought of just one angel believing he could kill his Father was laughable.  
  
"Well, apparently, he managed to get hold of a weapon made in Hell." Ragnor almost rolled his eyes. "How he did it is beyond my capacity of understanding."  
  
Magnus had a few theories how that happened. It wasn't unheard of that some angels were acquaintances with some demons, after all they all had a system.  
  
Angels and demons existed to keep a balance between the three realms, but they weren't that naive to think it was a perfect relationship. They all had their fights, for sure.  
  
The fact that Valentine used this agreement to have a weapon from Hell wasn't surprising at all. Question was who gave it to him.  
  
"Probably a lower demon" Ragnor offered, sensing Magnus' question. "He gave the demon an offer he couldn't refuse in exchange of the weapon."  
  
"And let me guess, Father is going to make us all see this downfall?"  
  
"After Raphael, he's not letting anyone off the hook. You know how he is."  
  
And Magnus knew that very well. It was almost shocking how he had managed to dodge any encounter with Father, mostly because he had spent his time with Alexander on Earth, not evading his responsibilities but also not talking to Father.  
  
Before he could say something, Magnus saw Catarina approaching them and it was an automatic response how fast he smiled when he spotted her.  
  
As immortals as they were, they could get hurt; Catarina was what humans would call a doctor or healer (see Ragnor, I'm learning) and in their quest to keep the humans at bay of any heavenly or hellish creature, angels could get wounded. Powerful beings with a dash of humanity, unbelievable.  
  
"I see that you are gracing us with your presence" Catarina said, once she was closer to them. "Finally."  
  
"He's been busy" Ragnor quipped with raised eyebrows, sounding incredulous. "Learning about humans."  
  
Catarina raised her own eyebrows, impressed and Magnus scoffed. So much for having his closest friends' support.    
  
"Right" she said but she wasn't believing it, not one bit.  
  
_Fair enough._  
  
"So, what happened? Did he try to sneak up on him? Like Father wouldn't know." Magnus scoffed, shaking his head. "He has eyes on his back, I'm sure."  
  
Ragnor shrugged. "I don't know the details but he wants all of us to the main hall."  
  
"To see the spectacle."  
  
"I know you think it's useless but there are some angels that need to be taught one thing or two."  
  
Magnus hummed. "What happened with "no one deserves punishment"?  
  
Magnus stared down at Ragnor, waiting for him to rebuke what he had said months ago. Ragnor met his gaze, not backing up while Catarina's gaze drifted between them.  
  
"Do you really believe that?" she asked, suddenly, making them break their staring contest.  
  
"I used to believe that," Ragnor affirmed while nodding once, looking at Catarina, "but Valentine taught me that I'm wrong about some things. There are angels that deserve no mercy."  
  
Ragnor sounded so cold, so different from the wise angel Magnus had known his entire life. Of course, Magnus couldn't compare what Valentine did with his affair with Alexander. But still. Would Ragnor change his mind once he'd known the thruth? Magnus wondered.  
  
"Asmodeus can be ruthless and it's not a secret that he has a soft spot for humans," Ragnor continued, "but he created us all and for Valentine to go literally behind his back, well, I'm not surprised Asmodeus will punish him."  
  
"What about you?" Magnus redirected his gaze towards Catarina.  
  
She swallowed before speaking. "He betrayed us all with what he did. Maybe Hell is the place he belongs. Not among angels and certainly, not among humans." She stopped for a second, as in regrouping her thoughts. "Angels are bound to have flaws, there's no doubt but we need to learn to fight against them."  
  
He could agree to that. Now, he wasn't doing much of that fighting. Magnus was aware that he had fell among those flaws and he tried to fight against it but being with Alexander, it was like a pull and yes, he was weak to the flesh.  
  
But there was no doubt he was loyal to his nature too. Magnus was an angel foremost and that wouldn't change because he had a meaningless affair that only consisted in desire and lust, nothing more.  
  
He was loyal to his Father and whether he'd agreed with Ragnor that not everyone deserved punishment, maybe Valentine was the exception.    
  
This action could only mean treason to their kind.  
  
Before he could say his resolution, someone else spoke before him.

 “Asmodeus is asking for everyone to the main room.”

 They all turned to see Luke, his Father’s second in command. If Magnus was his favorite son, Luke was his favorite warrior and with a good reason. The answer to a job well done was Luke; Ragnor had always relied on Luke whenever he needed assistance in an important matter.

Since he was always on duty, it was difficult for Magnus to see him (even more so now that he had spent a good amount on his time on Earth) so to see him here meant that the occasion was important.  
Even though Magnus could agree to this decision, it was still morbid. All of them congregated in a room to see an angel stripped off his wings and burned alive to be sent to Hell, all of them watching while said angel screamed in pain.

When the Romans had this spectacular idea to use the Coliseum so two fighters could kill each other, Father liked the idea, so he built the main room which resembles the Coliseum and that has been the place where He punish the rebelled angels and also worked as a direct portal to Hell.

As they arrived, Magnus could see that all the angels, higher and lower ranks, were there and probably looking for the best spot to see. Like humans, angels liked to see these types of shows. Again, morbid.

“Father could easily do this in his chambers. No need to drag all of us to see” Magnus complained lowly enough for them to hear.

Luke, who was closer to him, made a _tsk_ noise. “One day you’ll stop criticizing your Father’s decisions. I know you won’t believe me but there’s a huge number of angels that need to be taught one thing or two about respect.”

Magnus frowned. Since when Luke was so harsh to him? Was he spending way too much time on Earth that he missed the moment everyone changed their mindsets? Or maybe he wasn’t seeing the bigger picture here?

“Well, excuse me if I don’t buy that a pathetic angel like Valentine tried to kill the most powerful being of the three realms” Magnus insisted, because it was true. It was still laughable. “Trying shouldn’t even be an option.”

He stared at them, waiting for a response that never came. Luke nodded at them and walked to the center of the room where Father was already standing with Valentine next to him on his knees and chained.

From his vantage point, Magnus could see that Valentine felt no remorse. Of course he didn't, after the firsts times, what was the point of feeling anything at all?  
  
Father raised his hands and the room fell in complete silence.  
  
"I apologize for keeping you from doing your angelic duties but it seems that I had to take care of this matter long ago." Father looked down at Valentine and back up, his face devoid of any sentiment at his creation.  
  
Magnus had forgotten that Father liked to drag this as much as he could, just so the message was clear.  
  
"Valentine had deemed me unworthy of his loyalty," Father continued, "so he took it upon himself to attack me, this time with a weapon forged in Hell."  
  
As he spoke, Father threw said weapon to the ground. It was black and resembled a dagger but much longer; Magnus didn't need to hold it to know it was light, perfect to strike someone fast. Now he could see why Valentine thought he could get away with this.   
  
"I don't accept disobedience, not in my home."  Father turned to where Valentine was still kneeling, next to him. "Would you like to say some last words?"  
  
Valentine smiled slowly, like he was truly enjoying what was happening to him.  
  
"This won't be the last you'd see of me. You'll regret sending me to Hell."  
  
"What I regret," Father said, his voice cold and unwavering, "was not sending you there soon enough."  
  
Magnus stared at what was happening before him, how one their own wasn't showing any regret, he wasn't asking for mercy, begging for it but Magnus wasn't surprised.  
  
"I know you don't like this" Ragnor whispered next to him.  
  
Father gave a sign to another angel.  
  
"But it has to be done."  
  
The angel raised his sword.  
  
"We can't live with someone that is willing to kill his creator."  
  
The angel cut through one of Valentine's wings, the scream that followed filling up the silence in the room.  
  
"We can't live with fear in our own home."  
  
Then the other wing, blood painting the floor beneath Valentine.  
  
"It could have been one of us next."  
  
Father raised his hands and soon enough Valentine was engulfed in flames, scorching his skin, his screams the only sound, the torrid smell of burnt skin surrounding them.  
  
"It had to be done" Ragnor finished.  
  
After the flames disappeared, the only thing left were the cut out wings, bathed in its last owner's blood.  
  
It had to be done.

∞

  
  
"There's a rumor."  
  
Magnus stopped dead in his tracks. After that spectacle, the only thing in his mind was Alexander, as weird as that sounded. What he had with the demon was easy, no complications whatsoever. It was better than to staying in home, for sure.  
  
"You are seeing someone on Earth" Ragnor continued, "and that's why you spend more time down there."  
  
Magnus took a deep breath and turned around. Was he so easy to follow? Maybe he wasn't as careful as he thought he was. But he wasn't going to expose himself.  
  
"Were you going to tell me?"  
  
"Eventually" Magnus replied at last.  
  
Ragnor nodded, not looking convinced. He stepped forward, closer to Magnus. "Is it desire what you're seeking? Is it worth it?"  
  
Magnus averted his gaze; truthfully, he didn't know what he was looking for, just that he enjoyed it and was it so bad to feel good about something?  
  
"I hope you know what you're doing, Magnus, that it's worth it."  
  
Magnus looked up just to see Ragnor's retreating frame with some last words.  
  
"Take it from Valentine."

∞

 

  
  
"Be still my beating heart."  
  
Funny how that voice could wreck him, to the point where he could feel just a little bit weak, just a little bit warm.  
  
Magnus turned to see Alexander sauntering towards him, with a glass of liquor in hand, smirk already in place.  
  
"I miss you, darling" Alexander said, placing a hand on Magnus' cheek. It was warm.  
  
Was it worth it?  
  
"I was here yesterday" Magnus replied, ignoring the churning in his stomach, the lump lodge in his throat. "Surely, you found someone to entertain you."  
  
"Well, I tried but it's not like they are you."  
  
Looking at Alexander's eyes, Magnus wondered if it was really worth it, was it just desire?  
  
"Such lovely things you say" he replied, sarcasm dripping into his voice, making Alexander's smile widening.  
  
Without any prompts from Magnus part, Alexander leaned down enough to connect their lips in a soft and lingering kiss, the ones who Magnus hoped were longer.  
  
"Welcome back" Alexander whispered against his lips.  
  
He kissed him again, slowly this time, holding Magnus by his hips, bringing closer. Circling his arms to the other's neck, dragging his fingers through his hair, Magnus brought them closer, deepening the kiss.  
  
Whatever thoughts he had about Valentine and his awful dismiss, were vanished the moment Alexander backed him up against the nearest wall and the kiss stopped being soft altogether.  
  
By the time Alexander was leaving a trail of kisses along his neck, dragging his fingers on his lower back making Magnus moan in pleasure, Magnus got to the conclusion that maybe it was desire, maybe it was something else (not _love_ because he wasn’t that crazy as to mix both things) but it was worth it. He had something for himself.  
  
And he was more than okay with it.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I mean, what can I say? I'm trying my best so I'm hoping this is good. Let me know.
> 
> ALL SUGGESTIONS ARE WELCOME!


End file.
